When parents aren't good sports, how do you expect kids to be?

From the Commercial Appeal (Link for Entire Article) -

It's a listing of the year's most acrimonious moments in athletics. Published by the Positive Coaching Alliance, the annual roundup is appropriately titled "The Bottom 10 Moments in Sports."

Making the list in 2007 was Terrell Mackey. The Lincoln, Neb., soccer mom left her daughter on the side of the interstate because she was upset at the 15-year-old's game performance.

Mackey is just one member of the dishonor roll of sports parents, but there are many others. Last year, acts by parents made up four of the "Bottom 10."

Do you want to make next year's Bottom 10?

Under 12 Characteristics and Skill Priorities

Skill Priorities:

Technical -

• Further Improvement of U10 skills (click here for U10 skills)
• Speed Dribbling in Traffic
• Ability to chip the ball
• Accurately play long passes
• Offensive Heading
• Power/Accuracy Shooting

Tactical -

• Team Communication
• Basic Support Positions in Attack and Defense
• Receiving the Ball Away from Pressure
• Combination Play
• How and when to switch the point of attack
• Pressure vs Containing
• Proper 2 vs 2 roles
• Proper 3 vs 3 roles

The period this age group is entering is often referred to as the dawn of tactics. Typically players of this age begin to understand the basic tactical situations of the game and are more aware of movement off the ball and the reasons for tactical choices. Problem-solving becomes systematic and these players tend to learn quickly. Children of this age typically are beginning to develop abstract awareness, so they can understand coaches when we talk about space and runs off of the ball. However, just because they understand these basic tactical concepts does not mean we should focus on these concepts entirely. Players are still developing technically at this age, especially as they go through growth spurts and awkward phases.

It is quite common to look out at a U12 field and see players that are physically the size of adults. Yet, other U12 players appear as if they could still be in the 3rd grade. These children are all growing at different rates and undergoing physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. The
average age for the beginning of pubescence in girls is 10 years old with a range of 7 to 14; for boys it is age 12 with a range of 9 to 16. As adults, we need to be sensitive to these changes and their social implications when dealing with this age group. Some players may pick up skills quickly, where as others may struggle. However, it may be the case that this is simply the result of differences in maturation. In a year, the slower developer may surpass the player who developed earlier. For this reason we need to be patient and keep open minds about all players through these years. They are aware of their struggles more than anyone else as peer evaluation is omnipresent at these ages. When we see them struggling, it is important for us to help them and to keep the game fun.

Characteristics of this age group -

• All children are maturing at different rates
• Players must warm-up and stretch - muscle pulls and other nagging injuries are common otherwise
• Players will typically understand elemental abstract concepts and hypothetical situations
• They like to solve problems
• Peer evaluation is a constant
• Egos are sensitive
  
• Coordination may depend on whether or not they are in a growth spurt
• Technique still needs to be reinforced constantly
• Playing too much can lead to overuse injuries
• Playing too much and not feeling like they have a choice in the matter can lead to burnout and drop-out
• This is the dawn of tactics!
• Keep asking the players to be creative and to take risks - we never want them to stop doing these things
• Ask for feedback from them - they will tell you how things are going
• Try to hand over leadership and ownership of the sport to them
• Keep it fun!!!
  

Under 10 Characteristics and Skill Priorities

Skill Priorities:

Technical -

• Further Improvement of U8 Skills (click here for U8 skills)
  
• Passing with inside and outside of both feet
• Shooting with both feet using the laces
  
• Receiving the ball with all parts of body (feet, thigh, and chest)
  
• Defensive Heading

Tactical -

• Basic Attacking Ideas of when to dribble, pass, or shoot
  
• Basic Defending Ideas of when to pressure, support, or cover
  
• Comprehend 1 vs 1 concepts
• Comprehend 2 vs 1 concepts
• Comprehend roles of 1st and 2nd defenders
• Comprehend roles of 1st and 2nd attackers

As we move up the age ladder from the U8 level to the U10 level there are many differences we must attend to in order to provide an optimal experience for young players of this age. However, there are also many similarities. Just as in parenting, it is important to be consistent in coaching and we must make sure that we follow a progressive trend of development for young players. To this ends, we need to continue to focus on technique during our practices, as we did at the younger ages. Creating environments in which players get maximum repetitions of technical skills is key. Players at this age should still work on ball mastery and demonstrate growing familiarity and comfortability with a ball at their feet.

Characteristics of this age group -

• Attention span lengthens from U8 - they start to show the ability to sequence thought and actions
• They start to think ahead and think “If this, then that” - this is why tactics can start to be taught
  
• They are more inclined towards wanting to play soccer rather than being told to play
• Demonstrate increased self-responsibility – bringing a ball, water and all gear should now be their complete responsibility. The player takes more ownership of the game
  
• They start to recognize fundamental tactical concepts
• Children at this age begin to become aware of peer pressure - this can be both positive and negative. Adults must watch this closely
  
• Players greatly affiliate with their team or their coach—“I play for the Tigers” or “I play for coach Amy’s team”
• Players at this age are extremely rule bound — remember each rule you create is the equivalent of a bar in the prison in which you would like to live. Too many rules and they will stop learning
  
• There is a wide continuum of maturity evident on most teams - this, though, is still a crucial age for technical skill development, so regardless of maturity, coaches must still work on developing all players
  

Under 8 Characteristics and Skill Priorities

Skill Priorities:

• Dribble with all sides of both feet
• Dribble out of trouble
• Dribble past someone
• Shielding
• Quality first touch on the ball for control
• Proper shooting technique with both the inside and laces
• Proper Push Pass technique

Although U8 children may begin to be far more physically and maturationally advanced than U6 children, we must remain patient and not try to force them to develop too quickly. Dribbling still needs to be the primary focus of our efforts, though passing and shooting should be introduced at this age as well. U8 players tend to work best when in pairs and we should allow them to work in pairs (coach selected) often. Similar to the U6 children, we need to make sure that fun is a central theme in practice. Player development will occur most appropriately and expeditiously if all players are enjoying themselves.

Characteristics of this age group -

• Tend to play well in pairs – unlike 6 year-olds, these children enjoy playing in pairs. Coaches will use more activities in practice involving pairs, like passing. However, children should not always select their "buddy" in practice because it will lend to one sided practices if always working with the same player over and over
• Are now able to take another’s perspective – they now have a sense of how other’s are feeling
• Still unable to think abstractly – still do not have this capability, therefore tactical skills can not yet be taught. Adults must be patient with this age group
  
• Heating and cooling system still less efficient than adults – still make sure to give frequent water breaks
• Still much prefer playing to watching – everyone must be active during practice and remember, no lines
• Limited attention span (on average 15-20 seconds for listening, up to 20 minutes when
  engaged in a task) – this may vary greatly on any given day depending on school, diet, etc.
• Have an understanding of time and sequence – they now understand "if I do this, then that happens." This is why passing is taught at this age group
  
• Many have incorporated a third or fourth speed into play – not all players, but many players now have incorporated a speed or two between stopped and as fast as possible
• Extremely aware of adult reactions – be very aware of your verbal and nonverbal reactions, as they look for your reaction frequently. Negative adult behavior with result in negative child behavior
  
• Seek out adult approval – they very much need reassurance and you need to help build their confidence to try new things at this age
• Begin to become aware of peer perception – a social order is beginning to develop. Be sensitive to this
• Wide range of abilities between children at this age – children all develop at varying paces. You may have an 8 year-old who seems more like a 10 year-old and one that seems more like a 6 year-old on the same team. The challenge to is to manage this range over the course of a season, so that all players continue to develop
  
• Some will keep score – the competitive motors churn faster in some than others. Surely some parents are fueling the motors with their own. Regardless, we do not need to stress winning and losing at this age. Results should not be important at this age. David Beckham and Mia Hamm did not become the great players they are today, because their Under 8 team won or lost games!!
  
• Beginning to develop motor memories – by attempting fundamental technical skills they are training their bodies to remember certain movements. This is why at this age, the focus is on nothing but the key technical skills of dribbling, passing, and shooting (in that order)
  
• Less active imaginations than U6 players – still have active imaginations by adult standards, but some of the silliness that 6 year-olds allowed will not be appreciated by this group. Adults should still use the children's imaginations so they will continue to try new things and grow as players
  

Under 6 Characteristics and Skill Priorities

Skill Priorities:

• Dribble with all sides of both feet
• Dribble out of trouble
• Dribble past someone
• Soft first touch
  

Although sometimes we may mistake 5-6 year-olds for little adults, they are clearly not little adults. They have many years of childhood and development to enjoy before they are able to look at life in a similar fashion to adults. The reason for this is that they need time to intellectually, emotionally, and physically develop. Although we do live in the same world, when seen through our own eyes, the world both adults and children experience is quite different. In order to fully understand these wonderful children and to make practices run as smoothly and happily as possible, it is extremely important for us to understand the following characteristics about U6 children.

Characteristics of this age group -

• Focused on themselves – reality to them is solely based on what they see and feel
• Unable to see the world from another’s perspective – it is “the world according to me” time. Asking them to understand how someone else is seeing something or feels is unrealistic. This is why they don't pass the ball
  
• Everything is in the here and now – forget about the past and future, they live in the moment
• Heating and cooling systems are less efficient than adults – they need to give frequent water breaks (every 8-10 minutes) or they may just run until they cannot run anymore
• Enjoying playing, not watching – they feel no enjoyment from watching others play when they could be playing too. Make sure every player has a ball in practice so every player is always playing. No Line Drills!!!!
  
• Limited attention span (on average 15 seconds for listening, 10-15 minutes when engaged in a task) – keep your directions concise and to the point. When in an open environment, such as a park, their attention span will dwindle towards 10 seconds
• Effort is synonymous with performance – if they have tried hard, they believe they have done well. This is a wonderful quality and we should be supportive of their enthusiasm
• Active imaginations – if we utilize their imaginations in practice activities, they will love practice! If we just do drill after drill after drill they will associate that displeasure with the sport and leave the sport
  
• Look for adult approval – watch how often players look to you for approval or to see if you are looking. Because of this if we cheer things that are not correct, like aimlessly booting the ball down the field to no one, they will continue to do it, because we cheered when they did it. Also be encouraged when they say “Coach, look what I can do!”
• Unable to think abstractly – asking them to think about spatial relations or runs off the ball is unrealistic
• Typically have 2 speeds - extremely fast and stopped
• Usually unaware of game scores – we should keep it that way
• Often like to fall down just because it is fun – they are just children having fun
• Often cannot identify left foot vs. right foot – they know which foot they use most and if they point to their feet you can help teach them left and right
  

Without Referees, Teams Forfeit

From Coach Aaron -

Below is an article from "Florida Today" that appeared in their Oct. 22, 2006 edition. It talks about how the last games for a youth football season were canceled due to referees refusing to show up due to parent and coach harassment. Being a referee myself, I have seen some terrible behavior out of adults that borders on criminal in nature. I have had to throw coaches and parents out of games. Luckily, I have never had to take the steps in the below article, but I have threatened to end a match if behavior did not improve.

Many referees are doing it, because it is suppose to be fun and a way to return something to the game that they love. Are referees going to make mistakes? Absolutely! They are human. However, no one is allowed to question their call to the point of harassment.

Enjoy the article.

By Autumn Phelps
Parents, coaches and players for the Port St. John Rockets youth football league were dispirited Saturday after having to forfeit all home games against the Sebastian Sharks, which would have been each division's final regular-season game of 2006.

Tackle games were canceled because volunteer referees representing the Mid-Coast Officials Association refused to show up, Port St. John league officials said.

Animosity between referees and Rockets coaches began during a Mighty Mites division game Monday, when a group of Rockets coaches and parents verbally assaulted four referees on the field.

"I think it's ridiculous that this even happened," said Kerri Dobbs, parent of a Pee Wee player and a rookie player in the league. "Parents need to learn to control themselves."

Instead of playing Saturday's scheduled tackle games, coaches gave players the option to participate in a "fun day" of playing flag football among themselves at Space Coast Sports Complex in Cocoa.

Brian Horton, head referee of the Mid-Coast Officials Association, told FLORIDA TODAY on Friday that Monday night's incident was the "final straw."

Referees demanded the presence of two uniformed officers at every youth football league in Brevard County; otherwise, they would not stay.

Horton said that the referees did not refuse to show up for Port St. John's games on Saturday, but that the league president forfeited the games first.

"It's a rumor," Horton said. "I don't know why they forfeited. You'd have to ask their league president." The Rockets' league president, Kurt Kolczynski, was unavailable for comment Saturday.

Rockets coaches and board members maintained that the only explanation for the forfeits was the referees did not show up. The Rockets' Mighty Mites division was suspended from its final game as well as the playoffs shortly after the incident Monday, but the rest of the league's divisions had planned to play their final games Saturday -- until they were "forced" to forfeit.

"I don't believe it's fair in any way," said Dave Inman, rookies division coach for the Rockets. "How can you penalize 500 kids for this?" Inman said the rookies would have been able to make it to the playoffs if they had beaten Sebastian, but now they aren't eligible.

A meeting of Brevard County Youth Football League officials will be held at 1 p.m. today to determine whether Port St. John teams can make up Saturday's games this week, reversing all of the forfeits.

"This really stinks for the kids," said Steve Crosby, player agent for the Rockets who will represent the league at today's meeting. "I don't know what's going to happen next year. I just hope the refs will eventually come back."

Parents say many of the players -- especially players on the teams who needed to win to make the playoffs -- were disappointed. "A lot of kids were so upset they were crying," said Chris Mancini, cheer agent for the league. Mancini said the Rockets cheerleaders still will be able to compete in county cheer competitions, but that they were looking forward to cheering at Saturday's games.

"They work really hard on the cheers for the games," said Renee Falkner, Mighty Mites cheer coach. "It's just too bad." Some Rockets fans blame the actions of parents and coaches that started the whole battle on Monday.

"I get upset at the referees sometimes, too," said Javier Calderin, an assistant coach in the league. "But you cannot cuss at a ref, especially when kids and families are around. There's no excuse for what happened."

On Monday, three parents of Port St. John players allegedly used profanity and others shouted insults, according to one of the referees on the field. The only games held at Space Coast Sports Complex on Saturday in addition to the tackle division's "fun day" were the league's flag division games. As a parent with two young children on Rockets flag football teams, Jack Mutter said he was disappointed in the behavior of tackle division parents.

"Parents need to set a better example for their children," said Mutter, who hopes to see both of his sons advance to tackle divisions some day. "It's a real shame that everyone has to pay the price because of some stupid actions. Youth football is about teaching the fundamentals of the game and having fun."

How Not to Kill Your Kid's Love of Sports

by Sue Shellenbarger of The Wall Street Journal

Katie Roper's daughter Ellen likes to play lots of sports--soccer, basketball, softball and swimming. But even at Ellen's tender age of nine, that's getting hard to do.

Kids in her swim program are dropping other sports to specialize in competitive swimming year-round, and Ellen is having a tough time keeping up. The year-round swimmers tend to beat others badly, says Ms. Roper, of Los Altos, Calif. "I'm sad that soon she'll be discouraged and probably want to quit a sport she loves."

As millions of kids take to fields, courts and rinks this fall, as many as half to two-thirds are destined to quit sports by their teens, largely because they're not having fun, studies show. A trend toward specialization--pressure for kids to play just one competitive sport year-round--is one reason, researchers say.

Many kids thrive in competitive year-round programs, learning advanced skills and enjoying expanded opportunities. But the programs can be a bad fit for others, fostering stress and an overemphasis on winning, says a recent focus-group study of 67 school officials, coaches, parents and teens led by Daniel Gould, director of the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports at Michigan State University. Such strains are linked to higher injury risk, reduced motivation and burnout.

For parents who want their kids to embrace sports as a path to lifelong fitness and fun, the trend calls for new vigilance. Here are some early-warning signs that your child may be burning out:

It's No Fun

A child who grows bored, resists practices and games, feigns illness or injury, or retreats to the back of the line in drills, is at high risk of dropping out. Jeffrey L. Brown, a Harvard Medical School psychologist, also cites fatigue, performance worries or a lack of concentration in other activities.

The challenge for parents is to help children hold on to the joy of participating while others are focused primarily on winning. Switching to a community, YMCA or recreational league program can help. But it's usually best to finish the season, says Marty Ewing, an associate professor of kinesiology at Michigan State. Exceptions might include cases when a child is clearly in over her head and can't focus, or is so mismatched with a team that she's at risk of injury.

Teammates Aren't Compatible

Camaraderie is a big source of the fun in sports and its absence can signal trouble. Joy Wyatt's daughter showed early aptitude for gymnastics and worked hard, at age 8, to prepare for her first competition. But when she was forced to sit out with an injury, her teammates were unsupportive and unkind, says Ms. Wyatt of New York. Put off, she decided to quit at the end of season.

Cheating Rears Its Head

If your child complains about cheating or starts cheating himself, burnout may loom. Blaming a bad call for a loss or error may signal that a child is frustrated, anxious or too focused on winning, Dr. Ewing says. It also may be a clue that you're hovering too much: An in-depth 2006 study of four junior tennis players at North Carolina State University, Raleigh, found parental pressure to win was by far the biggest reason players cited as the cause of cheating.

Your Involvement Eclipses Your Child's

A 2006 Norwegian study of 677 soccer players ages 10 to 14 found children who felt heavy performance pressure from parents and coaches were over-concerned about making mistakes and harsher in their self-criticism.

If you see such emotions in your child, Michael Checchi advises, "take a hard look in the mirror." When Mr. Checchi's son showed early talent for baseball, he immersed him in the sport, enrolling him in off-season training and doing drills at home. But to Mr. Checchi's dismay, his son began at age 13 to lose interest. "The harder I pushed, the more resistance he gave me," recalls the San Ramon, California, father. Finally, his wife "told me I was being a jerk," he says. He backed off, and his son's interest in baseball soon reignited.

"Shut Up, Dad!"

From Kay Breland, Mississippi Youth Soccer -

"I can't tell you how many times I have heard kids say, 'Shut up dad!' " says Danville's John Wondolowski, whose under-11 soccer team won the State Cup last spring.

When dad won't pipe down, the next step is off the field. Many kids drop sports -- an estimated 70 percent quit before they reach the age of 12 -- but some also find another outlet. Skateboarders, mountain bikers, and surfers are just part of an emerging X-Games generation. There are fewer rules, less structure, and -- best of all -- dad doesn't know the first thing about it.

"That's the protection," says Positive Coaching Alliance's Thompson. "No adults. It is not hyper competitive. Fifteen or 20 years ago adults didn't know anything about soccer. Now you've got guys who think they know all about it. My son is into surfing, skating, and snowboarding. His point was: Do I want to stand in line, wait to bat, and have the coach yell at me? Or do I want to sit out in the ocean?"

A kinder, gentler approach was the idea behind "Silent Sunday" last October in a Cleveland suburb. Coaches and parents in the 217-team league were told not to yell at the players, not even to cheer good plays. Was it hard to break old habits? Well, some parents, afraid they couldn't resist the temptation, put duct tape over their mouths.

Another soccer coach turned the tables on his parents. He put them on the field for a practice and let the kids scream instructions at them as they scrambled to kick the ball. Reportedly, the parents were ready for the exercise to stop long before the kids.

Are those the only choices? Do kids either have to drop out of sports or duct tape their parents' mouths shut?

Well no, there are options, proposed by groups like Thompson's PSA and the Matteucci Foundation. It begins with what groups like Ballistic soccer calls "zero tolerance" for attacks on officials, but more than anything it involves changing perceptions for parents.

"After all," says Thompson, "when you go to a spelling bee, nobody screams at the officials. It isn't done."

"We turn our heads," says Still of the Association of Sports Officials. "We say, 'I'm going to let it go. It is no big deal. Bill is a good guy, he just lost it that one time."'

That, says facilitators like Matteucci, has to stop. A clear ethics code must be established before the season begins and the parents must go over it. Expecting them to read a handout isn't enough. Matteucci advocates reading the code aloud before every game.

Second, parents who get out of control need to be told so, and in a way that makes it clear that they are out of step with the entire group. And, if the coach, or some of the other parents, cannot calm the transgressor down, enforce the rules and call a forfeit.

"Call the game," says Matteucci. "If we do, life goes on."

But most important, parents need to monitor their level of involvement with an eye toward scaling it down. Chances are, their son or daughter is not going to get a college scholarship, or appear on a Wheaties box. In 10 years, the best you can hope is that the kids still enjoy staying physically active and look back fondly on their sports career.

What's fun about sports if you don't win? Thompson recommends changing the goal. He worked with a soccer team that was so outclassed that it lost every game. Instead of winning, or even scoring, the team decided to make its objective to get the ball over midfield five times in one game.

When they finally did it, cheers rang up and down their sideline, puzzling the opposing parents.
"They were asking, 'What are they so happy about?' " Thompson said. "Aren't we beating them by eight goals?"

Yes, but they were playing a different game.

Don Lucia on Youth Sports

Don Lucia is the men's hockey coach at the University of Minnesota. Even though his speech talks about youth hockey, the principles of what youth sports should be and what it could be is universal.

His speech has become required watching by both coaches and parents.

“What’s All That Noise From The Sidelines?”

Written by Dr. Alan Goldberg

(Loud adult noise from the sidelines) “Shoot the ball! Kick it! Come on Billy; for God’s sake shoot it! (The 10 year old who’s related to the voice nervously tries to pass the ball to his nearest teammate but instead, it awkwardly dribbles off the side of his foot out of bounds. The boy’s father is now yelling.) “Billy what the heck’s wrong with you son? Are you that stupid? I said shoot it! Do it like I showed you! Now don’t be lazy! Move your butt and go get that ball back! (The boy looks miserable and quickly glances over to the sidelines at his father before he hangs his head and runs after the ball. A few minutes later an opposing player cleanly tackles Billy and takes the ball away from him. The referee’s whistle is silent. The father explodes at the official.) “Are you blind or what? Where’s the foul? How can you not call anything there? That’s a yellow card, ref! How can you not see that? (The referee trots over to the father and tells him to calm down. The father doesn’t back down). “I wouldn’t be complaining if you just did your job!” (The referee glares at the man and warns him to keep his mouth shut otherwise he will have him removed from the game. Suddenly it has become very quiet on the field as the game comes to an abrupt halt. Billy and a number of players from both teams stop and watch the altercation. Billy seems to be cringing in embarrassment, looking for a way to disappear…. Just another FUN day on the soccer field!)

In theory, soccer is supposed to be an enjoyable “game” organized for and played by kids. Its’ purpose is to teach game skills, tactics and a love for physical activity. In addition, and when in the hands of appropriate adults, soccer provides its’ young participants with a whole host of valuable life learning experiences like hard work as a vehicle for success, teamwork, good sportsmanship, healthy competition, mastering adversity in the pursuit of a goal and utilizing failure constructively, all of which are geared towards building self-confidence and leaving the child feeling better about himself. In theory!

Unfortunately, as the above scenario all too commonly illustrates, the reality of today’s youth soccer experience is vastly different. Misguided adults, both parents and coaches are inadvertently and selfishly distracting the child-athlete from what’s really important and, in the process, killing his/her joy for the sport. Parents like Billy’s, who get too caught up in the game’s outcome, who pressure their kids to perform, who are overly critical and demeaning when they make mistakes, insure that their child will consistently play well below their potential, seriously jeopardize the parent-child relationship and increase the likelihood that their child will soon become a sports drop-out statistic.

There’s no question that the vast majority of parents mean well and want their children to be happy and successful. Towards this end, they are willing to sacrifice their time, energy and financial resources taxiing their kids to and from practices, getting them additional training, volunteering for team and club functions and spending countless hours on the sidelines at tournaments and games. Unfortunately, far too many parents do not know exactly what they should and shouldn’t be doing to be the most helpful. Despite having positive intentions and their child’s best interests at heart, these parents say and do things before, during and after games that distract the child from focusing on the actual game, increase his/her anxiety level and, as a consequence, sabotage his/her overall level of play.

So just how important is it for you as a parent that your child has a positive, enriching experience in this sport? Do you really want your son or daughter to perform to his/her potential? Are you truly interested in seeing smiles out there during games instead of tears and unhappiness? If your answer to these questions is a resounding “YES!” then there are very specific things that you can do as a parent to make these things happen. Your role in relation to your child’s soccer is absolutely critical in determining the quality of their experience. If you adopt the appropriate behaviors and play the right role, then you will ensure that soccer brings a smile to your child’s face and joy to his heart. If you play the wrong role and act like Billy’s dad, then you’ll end up making a significant contribution to your child’s unhappiness and heartache.

So what’s the right role? First and foremost your main “job” is to be your child’s best fan. You need to be unconditionally supportive. If your child is having a bad game, then she needs your love and support far more than when she’s playing out of her mind. After a tough loss or a poor outing she needs you to be positive, compassionate and loving. Providing feedback on what she did wrong or expressing your disappointment in her play is NOT what she needs and will only serve to make a painful situation much worse.

Along these lines, love and support does NOT mean that you coach from the sidelines. In fact, the VERY WORST THING that you as a parent can do is to “coach” from the sidelines. What’s coaching? Offering “helpful” advice and strategy before and during the game, telling your child what to do and where to go, criticizing their play and getting angry with them when they make mistakes are all examples of off-limit, exceedingly destructive parental behaviors. After game critiquing is another example of VERY destructive parental coaching behavior. Understand that you are NOT helping your child when you coach. You will NOT get them to play better. You are NOT motivating them, even if you know the game and that’s your intention! On the contrary! Coaching and critiquing from the sidelines will distract your child from the flow of the game, make him more nervous, kill his enjoyment and, as a consequence, insure that he will consistently play badly. In addition, keep in mind that your “helpful” sideline comments are most often experienced by your child as an embarrassment! Coaching behaviors are only appropriate from the coaches, NOT the parents.

Instead, parents should smile from the sidelines, cheer for good execution regardless of which side it comes from, and encourage fair play and good sportsmanship. This means that you as a parent need to model appropriate, mature behaviors during the game. Yelling at your child, his teammates or the opponents is NOT mature, appropriate behavior. Loudly critiquing the officiating is NOT mature or appropriate either. It is NOT your job to critique the referees. Regardless of how well you may know this game, your calls are not better than the referees’. Excuse me, but you are just a tad bit biased in this situation! Loudly complaining to the ref every time he makes a “bad call” is not only an embarrassment to your child, but it’s quite selfish on your part. It takes the focus of the game off of the kids where it belongs and puts it on YOU. Remember, soccer is about the kids, NOT the adults.

Along these same lines it is NOT appropriate for you to spend your sideline time grumbling to other parents about your team’s coaches and the playing or tactical decisions that they make. If you have a problem with the coaches then deal with them at an appropriate time and place, NOT just before, during or right after a game. Most coaches are volunteers, are grossly underpaid for their time and are doing the best job that they know how. What they need from you is your support and help, NOT your disdain and criticism.

Finally, try to act on the sidelines in a way that would make your son or daughter proud to have you as a parent. Remember, your child is not the only one that’s performing during the game. You are also a performer and the quality of their experience is in your hands. Conduct yourself in such a way that you clearly communicate to your child and those around you that this is just a game for children, played by children. That is, you need to keep the proper perspective at all times. If there are other parents around you who are unable to maintain this kind of perspective, notify the team’s coach or league officials. It’s not your job to get in the face of another parent for misbehaving. Let the coach or parent board educate them at the next parents’ meeting.

Remember, soccer is a wonderful vehicle to help your children learn valuable life lessons. Do your part to insure that the lessons that they learn are constructive and positive.

U8 Academy

Part of any successful BINS program is the use of an Under-8 Academy. Starting with the 2008 Fall Soccer season at GSL, the Under-8 Academy will be launched. The Academy will be a series of eight sessions over an eight week period (one practice a week) that will focus on the primary skills of dribbling, passing, and shooting. Participation in the Academy sessions are completely optional, but players are encourage to attend as many sessions as possible during the season. There will be no additional charge to attend the Academy sessions.

Academy coaches will cover the basics of each skill set and work with players to ensure that they are developing the appropriate skills that will make them better soccer players over the long term. Coaches at the Academy have years of experience in player development. Some Academy sessions will be taught by coaches of local competitive clubs.

One of the reasons that the Under-8 Academy (as well as the overall BINS program) is being started was that coaches at the older age groups were getting seriously concerned about the lack of skills that players coming out of younger age groups were showing upon joining the older teams. Coaches were having to go back over the "basics" of dribbling, passing, and shooting with the players. This prevented them from working on the tactical development that U10 and U12 players needed. Similar to school, a 3rd grade teacher should expect an incoming student to be able to read and write, a U10 coach should expect an incoming player that did two years of soccer should know how to dribble and pass. Sadly that was not happening. Many players got quickly discouraged and left soccer completely.

The purpose of the U8 Academy is to address and fix those issues going forward. More information about the U8 Academy will be coming out as the season approaches.

BINS "Booting Is Not Soccer" Program

Starting with the 2008 Fall Soccer season at GSL, we will be deploying a BINS program across the GSL soccer program. BINS stands for "Booting Is Not Soccer." Numerous soccer programs have BINS programs and they have proven to be excellent programs for recreational soccer programs.

The age focus of the BINS program is from U6 to U12, however it has serious emphasis on the U6 and U8 players. The main objective of the program is to promote and emphasize the skills of dribbling and passing and discourage the aimless booting of the soccer ball that is all too prevalent at these young ages. The program is three tiered with a component for not only the player, but also the coach and the parent.

Benefits of the Program

1. Educate parents and coaches on the skill priorities for young players.
2. Raise the skill level at the recreational level.
3. Improve the skill and enjoyment of the recreational players, regardless of ability level.
4. Provide an on-going coaching assistance program to the soccer teams (players, coaches, and parents)

There will be more information about the BINS program as we get closer to the start of the fall season. Coaches will go through their training in the upcoming coaching clinics. Parents will be asked to attend a 1-hour session prior to the start of the season so that they can understand the program and help their child in their development.

Coaching Clinic Announced

The first GSL Soccer coaching clinic will be held on Saturday, July 26th. The clinic will start at 9 am at GSL Church. There will be a 2-hour class session, then a one hour lunch break, and then a 2 hour field session at GSL (Snowden) Field. Participants are expected to participate in the field sessions and wear soccer cleats.

There will be another coaching clinic for those that can not attend the July 26th session. Time and details on that clinic are still being worked out.

The purpose of the coaching clinics is to set a firm foundation for parent-coaches on how to coach youth soccer. Coaching philosophy and methodology will be discussed, as well as injury prevention and treatment. Participants will be given a basic soccer rules test.

The hope is that the 4-hour clinic will encourage coaches to continue their education and seriously consider becoming licensed by the US Soccer Federation by attenting the 18-hour long "E" Licensing course later in the year.

To sign up for the coaching clinic, contact Coach Prather at amprather@yahoo.com

Size Vs. Skill

Let's admit it, GSL is a small group. GSL School is a small school when you look at other schools. GSL Church is a small congregation when you look at other churches. GSL players are small compared to other players....regardless of sport! Regardless of the season or the sport, GSL players seem to be always playing against "children" much bigger. At a recent softball game, I actually thought one of the other teams' players was a coach. This girl was as tall as me!

I have over heard many a parent discuss this size issue and why is it that GSL kids seem to be smaller than the kids that they must oppose on the sports field. I don't really have an answer. Is it genetics? What we are feeding them (or not feeding them)? I really don't know. However, what I do know is that if I had a choice between size and skill, I would choose skill every time. GSL kids may not have size, but one thing we do have is skill and that is where we get much of our success.

At the recent Toulon Under-23 Tournament in France, the Italian team ended up winning the title on the play of their midfielder, Sebastian Giovinco. Giovinco dominated the tournament so much that he won the "Player of the Tournament" title. Giovinco stands 5 feet 4 inches, the shortest player in the tournament.

Now before you start questioning me that I can not rule out size all together, I will agree that you can not. Size definitely has a part in the equation, but size with no skill can hurt your chances of success especially in the long run, than "no size, but skill" will. Now if you have size and skill, then you are going to be very successful.

Bigger players can normally produce quick results and normally win games early in their playing career. Unfortunately, because we put too much emphasis on winning in youth sports, these early wins can cover up huge deficiencies. I call this the Shaquille O'Neill curse. O'Neill as a young players was told to go and get under the basket and his teammates were told to feed him the ball and he would just slam it in. Feed Shaq - Shaq stuffs it in - We win. That is all his so-called "coaches" did. Then, though, real coaches realized all you needed to do was foul him, because he couldn't shoot a free throw to save his life.

In youth soccer, I see it all the time. Players that dominate in the Under-6 and Under-8, because they are bigger turn it to average to poor players in the older ages. This is because they never developed the needed skills in those developmental ages like smaller players did and now they are getting run over. No longer can the coach use the method of kick it down to Big Bruce and he will slam it into the back of the goal. Now there may be a quick defender or a talented goal keeper that can win back the ball. To make things worse, Big Bruce never learned to get back on defense quickly, so now when he losses the ball, he is useless to his team to win it back.

Now size can remain an issue for a long time. Above I mentioned the fall off after Under 8 into the Under 10 and 12 ranks. About half of the players that played soccer in Under 6 and Under 8 soccer drop out in Under 10 and Under 12, because of the lack of skills. The next fall off happens after Under 14 into the Under 16 ranks, thanks to puberty.

A recent Under-14 match I watched was very lopsided. Team A's players averaged about 5 feet 10 inches and probably 140 pounds. A couple of players on team A looked like they were shaving already. Team B's players looked around 5 feet 4 inches and a strong wind would probably blow them away. It was clear that the Puberty Ferry had visited team A and had team B on her wait list. Team A dominated the game, because they could easily bump the other team off the ball and could put more distance on their passes. In team B, though, I saw some good technical and tactical play. Team A was very much a North-South team, everything was down the middle. I don't think that any player on Team A took more than three touches before passing it on to the next player. On the other hand, team B played North-South-East-West ball. Team B players demonstrated dribbling technique that Sebastian Giovinco would be proud of. One player on team B, dribbled by himself on a 40-yard run, he went around 5 defending players that could not do anything to stop him on his way to goal. If it wasn't for an excellent stop by the goal keeper, that ball was almost in the back of the net.

Now the coach of team A may pat himself on the back for the win, but I would like to see a rematch when those players are in the Under-18 ranks. Because when the Puberty Ferry finally catches up with team B, I see a complete reversal of results out there. It is not surprising to see players drop out of soccer from Under 14 to Under 18. The once advantage of size that early puberty gives some, comes back to hurt them as the skilled players start to beat them on the field due to their lack of skill.

So the next time you see a "big" player out on the soccer field, you may still say "WOW", but what you need to ask is if that child really any time of threat. That one girl that I though was a coach, did put out the "WOW" factor, but then when she started playing was not much of a concern. Sadly, much of her play ended up hurting her team during the course of the game. She had no skills for what was required.

Coaches must always, regardless of size, stress skill. ALL players need to be trained in all aspects of the game. Size may not always be there, but skill will be.

Again, if given the choice, I will take a Sebastian Giovinco over a Shaquille O'Neill any day of the week.

Approaching Your Child's Coach

From Richard K. Stratton, US Youth Soccer -

How do you approach your child's coach or otherwise deal with a problem involving the coach?

Sometimes the problem is just with the one child and the coach, other times is involves several athletes. The major concern seems to be how to discuss this problem with the coach without creating problems for the child, such as retribution from the coach. Hopefully your child's coach held a preseason meeting with all the team athletes and their parents. During this meeting the coach should have discussed his or her coaching philosophy and coaching methods, among other things. This information should help you understand why your child's coaches are doing many of the things they are doing. Occasionally, however, issues or questions may arise during the season that you might feel need to be addressed by the coach. The most common issue seems to be the perception that a child is not getting enough playing time. Other issues raised include the coaches playing their own, less skilled children ahead of other more skilled children on the team, coaches who curse and are otherwise verbally abusive of the children, coaches who can not or do not teach the skills needed to play the sport, and coaches who make promises to kids but fail to follow through on these. The Sport Parent (Human Kinetics Publishers, 1994) also lists as possible problems: being subjected to too much pressure, receiving only criticism from the coach for mistakes rather than encouragement, being made fun of by peers with no response from the coach, and being injured and not properly attended to.

What should you do when one or more of these (or other) problems seem to be occurring? First, you need to determine if it is a real problem. Your child may be to best indicator of this. Does your child dread going to practices or games? Has your child talked about dropping out without expressing any particular reason? Does your child frequently come home from practices unhappy? You need to talk to your child and try to determine what the actual problem seems to be from their perspective. Remember, they may be reluctant to talk about it because they are afraid of what might happen if you go to talk to the coach. You should also try to attend practices and contests to observe to determine what is actually going on. The problem might not be with the coach. If you believe that there is a problem with the coach you should talk to him or her. If the problem involves more than one athlete, the parents of the other athletes should be included in the discussions with the coach. Make an appointment to meet with the coach, but not at practices or games. Explain the problem to the coach and ask for the coach's perspective on the situation. Listen carefully to the coach's response. Discuss any differences between your perspective and the coach's viewpoint. Try to come to an agreement about how the problem will be resolved. If you and the coach are unable to resolve the problem, you may have to take the problem to the league or organization's administrator. In any of these meetings you must control your emotions and maintain a positive approach. You are trying to improve the youth sports experience for your child and the rest of the team too.

Article contributed by Coaching Youth Sports, an online newsletter presenting information about learning and performing sport skills.

Using The Proper Soccer Ball For The Proper Age

Prior to the start of a training session, I had an Under-10 player approach me and tell me that he went home to work on his shooting (our prior practice was focused on proper shooting technique) and something wasn't right. During our previous practice, he was really getting speed and accuracy on his shots, but at home he said he was struggling to get the ball up and his shots were all over the place. I told him to go get a ball and let's look at it.

He ran over to his bag and pulled out his soccer ball, and right then I saw what was wrong. He had a size 5 soccer ball, the wrong size ball for his age. There is a reason soccer balls are numbered, so they are the appropriate size for the age that uses them. Under 6 and Under 8 need to be using size 3 soccer balls, Under 10 and Under 12 need to be using size 4. Not until a player enters the Under 14 ranks, should they be using a size 5 (normal soccer ball).

I quickly grabbed a size 4 soccer ball for the player and let him practice a couple shots again and to no surprise his distance and accuracy returned.

As an adult, when I play with a size 3 or size 4 soccer, I am Superman because the ball is smaller and lighter. So what do you think happens to a child using an adult ball? The complete opposite and that will destroy their development. We want them to grow with the ball, not be hampered by it.

So make sure you have the right ball for the right age.

They're All Bunch Up!!

From Ihor Chyzowych, Ohio South Youth Soccer Association -

That's what I hear at every U-8 youth course I teach. My reply is always the same: "That's OK!"

Then I get the puzzled looks from nearly every coach or coach-to-be.

The kids know what they're doing, it's the parents and the new coaches who are confused.

Adults see the bunch of players as unorganized -- not as a team. That's the first problem. Because, at this point, it's really not a team.

The players at this age don't understand what being a "team" means. At their age, they are selfish in their game. Me, my ball, my game. Most kids can't even remember the name of their team or their coach. They won't even practice with any one else's ball! How can you expect them to understand or embrace teamwork or fixed positions?

The ball is their magnet; so let them try to get it. In doing so, they're actually building good instincts that they'll use in the game when they are older and "team" actually beginsto mean something.

For example, many good coaches struggle to "re-teach" 14 to 17 year olds the working concept of zonal defending and zonal pressure defense. Two concepts that they knew instinctively when they were 5. What happened? It was drilled out of them by a youth coach who kept telling them to spread out.

When they're 5-plus years old, they already have a natural instinct for this kind of defending. They're already figured out that five of us versus one of them means that we'll probably get the ball.

To parents, this is a mess on the field. They want the kids to spread out -- so that the one player with any skill can have the space to dribble around every one else like cones. Not a very good defense.

A good coach will definitely have to adjust these players' instincts, as they get older, but surprisingly not much. The game itself makes them smarter as they continue to play more and more.

Another reason why "bunching up" is OK for young players: the kid in the center of that bunch is learning early on how to play in tight spaces and not to be afraid of traffic or contact -- invaluable skills that will be second-nature to him by the time he's older and able to play in fixed positions.

So, as hard as it is for parents to believe, young players learn how to solve problems and be creative while bunched up. These skills actually help them with their game when they're older and that game is more structured.

As a coach, I'll want on my older team the youth player who consistently came out of the pack with the ball. He might be my striker because he's not afraid of crowds in the box, or of being marked by two players. He's been getting through the traffic and scoring in those situations since he was 5. Playing in "the bunch" has made him tough, technical and smart.

My advice to new youth coaches and to parents is to stop worrying about the kids being bunched up. At U-8, just let them play.

You're role at this point is to teach them some basic ball touches, point them in the right direction and let them go!

Let the game teach them for now. Let them teach themselves. And most of all let them enjoy the game. Seems simple? It is. But that's OK, too. That's the beauty of soccer.

Top Ten Things Soccer Coaches Wish Soccer Parents Would Do

This list was originally compiled by Kentucky Youth Soccer. However, over my years of coaching and being a parent, I can say that I can agree with every one of these in one way or another. So here goes...

1. Get the players to practice on time, fully equipped, and ready to go.

While we understand some kids have back to back activities and account for that, there's no reason for a player without a previous activity to arrive at the field the minute practice starts, in Crocs. Players should arrive 5-10 minutes early, ready to play, with cleats/shinguards on, with a properly inflated ball and a water bottle. We only have so many minutes to practice and that the first couple minutes are dedicated to warming up, late arriving players may not get off to a good start and thus have a terrible practice. Also leave the toys at home - no balloons, skateboards, GameBoys, etc.

2. Let us know more than 6 hours in advance if your child won't be able to make practice or a match.

Based on the number of players who can't make a given event, it can affect how we plan to run things. You don't need to ask permission - just let us know a couple days in advance if you can.

3. Pay attention at practices.

If you have a child that can be, er, a handful - stick around at practice at least once a week and watch. If your child starts to become a distraction to the team during practice, ask the coach if they want you to step in and take care of it. Some may, some may not. But don�t just drop your child off and run away, knowing they may be disruptive. It�s not fair to the rest of the team. And don�t ignore the obvious because it�s your child. We coaches want EVERY child to have a chance to play and enjoy the game, but disruptive children sometimes become too much for a coach to handle and a parent really needs to step in and handle things.

4. Refrain from coaching from the sidelines.

I say this as someone who is as guilty as any. Being a coach AND a parent, it can often be impossible to keep my mouth shut. But coaches want the players to focus on the game and any instruction they may shout out from the team touchline. So stick to cheering and encouragement. If you find the urge to coach overbearing - ask the coach if they need an assistant

5. Put your folding chairs at LEAST 2 yards away from the touchline.

Many fields do not include 'parent boundary lines', so often parents are so close to the touchline that players can't even take a step to throw the ball in. Plus it's a danger to players trying to make sliding saves or who collide/trip/lose control near the parents.

6. Respect our decisions as coaches and if you have a problem, approach us about it.

Don't bottle it up inside, let it stew, and share it among the rest of the parents. We're not perfect, but perhaps given some additional explanation you might understand what we did. If not, at least you know why we did what we did.

7. Try to have administrative stuff taken care of well in advance.

Even teams with adept team managers can be affected by parents dragging their feet with paperwork. We coaches just want the kids to play, have fun, and learn. The less that paperwork and 'non-coaching' stuff intrudes on that, the better.

8. Don't scream at your kids on or off the field if they make mistakes.

That's how they learn. As a coach, I tell my players ALL the time that I'd rather see them take a risk by trying out a soccer move and losing the ball, than taking the safe route using the inside of their foot all the time or passing the ball as soon as they get it. Too many players are afraid of making mistakes at a young age on the field. Risk taking and creativity should be encouraged.

9. Volunteer to help your league.

Every single one of you. While a few top coaches do get paid, most do not and most of the league volunteers do not. They donate tons of time ensuring the league operates smoothly. So when they ask for help doing concessions, paperwork, field maintenance, fund raising, etc., offer to help. While top level competitive soccer can be expensive, most recreational programs are dirt cheap, primarily because they are run by volunteers. Where else can you get 2-3 hours a week of healthy activity for your child for less than $100 a season? Too many leagues rely on a core group of committed but overworked volunteers to run things because parents aren't willing to donate an hour or two during the season. They aren't asking you to commit to multiple hours every week for the entire season (though they'd love it if you could!). Just an hour or two a month.

10. Have fun.

Youth soccer should be fun for kids AND adults alike. By keeping a level head and a positive attitude, you can have about as much fun as your child does. So keep things in perspective and have fun!

Motivation is More than a Question of Winning or Losing

From Darren C. Treasure, Ph.D., Arizona State University -

I once played soccer with a kid called Mark. Mark was a very successful youth soccer player who was always one of the better players in any team he played for. Indeed, Mark represented the National schoolboy U.15 team. About one year later, however, Mark dropped out of soccer. He said that soccer had stopped being fun as he wasn't the best player anymore. It was clear that Mark could only feel successful if he was number one and did not want to play if he could not achieve this goal.

This anecdote illustrates how important it is for coaches and/or parents to understand the ways in which their players perceive success in soccer, and the significant effects these perceptions may have on their motivation to play the game. Specifically, how hard they try in practice and during games, whether they persist when the going gets tough, and whether they practice skills that will help them get better even if they are not presently very good at them.

Research has found that for children under the age of 10 high ability is generally implied by learning, or by success at tasks they are uncertain of being able to complete. They do not judge ability with reference to performance norms or social comparisons. They can be induced to adopt anothers performance as a standard, but normally they make self-referenced rather than social norm referenced judgments of ability. For young children, when more effort is needed for success, this implies more learning which means more ability in their world. In a real sense, effort is ability for children under the age of 11!! Because young children cannot differentiate effort from ability, they do not have the cognitive ability to understand winning and losing.

If you do not believe me, go watch any U.9 game, for example, and listen to the first question a child asks as he/she comes off of the field. If it is not "Where's my snack," it will be "Did we win?" The child at this age understands that winning is important, loves to compete, but does not understand winning and losing in any systematic sense. Because of this, they will not feel sad until a parent or coach informs them that they lost and accompany this information with a positive or negative emotional reaction.

Around the age of 11-12 years, however, children develop the capacity to differentiate ability from effort and now understand that effort can only help their performance up to their current level of ability. For example, at this age a slow player recognizes that no matter how hard they try, they will not outrun the fastest player on the team. As a consequence of this developmental change, after the age of 11-12 individuals can choose to define success in two different ways, namely in a child like-way fashion in which improvement and effort are critical, or a more adult way in which outperforming others is stressed. These different ways of perceiving success manifest themselves in an individuals task or ego goal orientation.

Ego oriented individuals perceive success in terms of winning and outperforming others and believe that if they outperform someone with minimum effort they have demonstrated even higher an even higher level of perceived ability. These individuals believe that success is determined by ability and that cheating and deception may be acceptable behaviors if they enable them to achieve their goal of winning.

In contrast, task oriented individuals perceive success in terms of getting better and trying hard. Research has demonstrated that task oriented individuals will remain motivated even in times of adversity, for example when they are losing, as they perceive success in terms of trying hard and attempting to improve.

For example, the center forward who misses a few chances will continue to run into space in the attacking third of the field and accept the responsibility of taking shots at goal. Ego oriented individuals who are successful are likely to engage in the same positive behaviors. However, when ego oriented individuals begin to doubt their ability they are likely to begin to withdraw effort and engage in negative behaviors to protect their perceived soccer ability.

For example, you may find ego oriented forwards drifting further and further back after they have missed a few chances. They may explain this by stating that they want to "create from the back", or begin to blame their teammates for their inability to get the ball to them in the attacking third of the field. Although this behavior may seem illogical to you, it makes perfect sense to the player as they are attempting to preserve their now fragile perception of ability. After a while it could be that these ego oriented individuals who doubt their perceived ability, much like my friend Mark, choose to dropout of soccer all together as it no longer provides them the opportunity to feel successful as they do not achieve their goal of being the best compared to others!

In an activity in which performance during childhood and early adolescence is so closely linked to physiological, motor skill, cognitive and other psycho-social developmental issues, it seems sensible, to promote task orientation. By emphasizing outcome and winning (ego orientation), less mature children are likely to make inappropriate perceived ability assessments when the demonstration of high ability is restricted to those children who are currently the top performers.

For example, small children who struggle to compete against their bigger, quicker peers may choose to dropout of soccer prematurely because winning is the only way they can feel successful. In addition, task orientation should be fostered with those children who are currently the top age group performers.

Why is this important? As in other activities, children move from one soccer team to another, from one competitive level to another, and from one age group to another. When this occurs it is unlikely that the hierarchy of ability within the respective context will remain constant. In such instances, if the demonstration of ability is continually based on the comparison of ability to others, an individual's perception of high ability may weaken which may lead to maladaptive behaviors, including, potentially, withdrawal from the game. From a motivational perspective, therefore, it is important that we as parents and coaches attempt to promote task orientation in our young players.

By providing ways of defining success other than winning, we can ensure that our players remain motivated throughout their soccer career. Research with elite level athletes has shown that these individuals are high in both ego and task orientation. They feel successful when they win and outperform their competitors, but they also appreciate the fact that this may not always be possible. There may be occasions when they lose and/or perform badly and in these times of adversity it is important that they view success in terms other than outcome if they are to remain motivated. The issue remains, however, of how to enhance the motivation of our players by encouraging the development of task orientation.

Research has shown that the parent and/or coach is critical in the active construction of a child's perception of what is valued in the youth soccer context. Parents and coaches should critically evaluate what they do and how they do it in terms of task and ego goals.

For example, how do you define success for your players? Is it in terms of development and effort, or winning and losing? Do you design practice sessions that challenge your players which will lead to development, or do they repeat well learned skills that, although increasing the probability of winning, may delay development? How do you evaluate performance? What behaviors do you consider desirable? Do you congratulate players when they win and outperform others or when they try hard and improve? How do you react when the team wins or loses?

Persuasive evidence exists to suggest that by making certain cues, rewards, and expectations salient a parent or coach can encourage a particular goal orientation and in so doing affect the way a child perceives the soccer experience. If we are to ensure that all youth soccer players are optimally motivated coaches should, therefore, work hard to establish an environment that promotes task goals: a developmentally appropriate environment in which children are evaluated on their skill development and effort and not their comparative performance and ability.

The Youth Soccer Coach - A Poem

This poem was written by the late Mike Berticelli, former Notre Dame soccer coach and NSCAA Director of Coaching

You donate your time for the good of our youth,
But you scream and you yell and are often uncouth.

The ref is just twelve and still learning the game,
But you call him a jerk and say he’s not sane.

The parents are screaming and follow your lead,
As you sprint up the sideline at uncontrollable speed.

You jump as you yell-"Pass, pass the ball!"
You turn red as you bellow-"Ref, make the darn call!"

"You’re the left back, get in your position,
If you don’t we might lose and ruin our tradition!"

Positions are needed so we look like a team,
‘Cause they’re miniature pros, or so it does seem.

The fullback is bored, he picks at his nose,
While the others run wild and kick with their toes.

You scream for a goal, no matter how it goes in,
The skill doesn’t matter, just as long as we win!

The parents go crazy as the ball nears the goal,
Their advice and instructions will soon take their toll.

You see, "Junior" feels pressure, he’s not having much fun,
We tell him to pass, when to shoot, and to run.

He came here to play and to use his own mind,
‘Cause soccer’s the most creative game that you’ll find.

Imagination is needed on the part of each child,
Solving problems on the field is what makes them go wild.

A week of long practice, while just standing in line,
Waiting to shoot, just using one ball at a time.

This just doesn’t cut it, and for some it is too late,
Make your practices fun, don’t be the coach that they hate.

They come to "play" soccer, not to work at the game,
Their excitement is something we don’t want to tame.

Maradona had moves that are beyond comprehension,
No coach taught those moves while threatening detention!

He learned from his friends, and tried copying others,
While playing in games, without coaches and mothers.

Soccer is different, not like baseball at all,
We don’t need positions, just give them the ball.

They, first must learn skill, it’s the meat of the game,
If they can’t dribble or shoot, then who should we blame?

Skill must be learned through repeated trials,
If motivation is present you will see them run miles.

"Fun games" are the answer to encourage repetition,
They laugh and they scream and enjoy competition.

Without the skill to dribble past an opponent at will,
Your players may win, but their growth will stand still.

I dream of the day when the parents just cheer,
And losing the game doesn’t bring out a tear.

When practice is fun, not dull and so boring,
And playing the game means more than just scoring.

I know you mean well, and you donate your time,
But bury your ego, and try something sublime.

Call all the parents, and ask for their aid,
You’re teaching their kids and not getting paid.

Your goal’s to develop a youngster with skill,
Not a team that must win, or some fancy new drill!

You see players are not judged by their wins and their losses,
Instead they are judged by their shots, heads, or crosses!

Scholarships are given to players with great names,
Not to those who played on youth teams who never lost games.

A pro player gets paid ‘cause his skills are real fine,
Not because his team never lost when he was nine.

It’s time to bring soccer to new heights in this nation,
The future’s in players, not a coaching citation!

Let’s start to say "dribble" and stop yelling "Pass!"
You’ll then see players go to the head of the class.

I hope you’re concerned, but not really offended,
It’s the need for more skill that I have defended.

You’re giving your all, from the good of your heart,
Why not make sure the kids get the right start?